My good friend in Arizona, Alice, convinced me that I should run for President – 2012. She said I have the best qualifications of all of the political critters that are roaming about in the countryside. She likes my views on securing our borders, placing a bounty on illegal aliens and other border crossing drug lords/felons, and Alice especially likes my views on placing Mr. Soetoro (aka BHO) under citizen’s arrest for squatting in the White House without Constitutional authority. So, I have agreed to become the "BIRTHER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE."
But there is one small problem…No one knows who I am. I ran for Secretary of State in 2002 under the banner of the 3rd largest party in America. But I only got 1.2% of the vote. And then I ran for Governor against muscle-builder turned actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. If you don’t know who this guy is, then just GOOGLE the words, “nude photo Arnold Schwarzenegger.” Again, I only got .7% of the vote. Finally, in 2010 I ran against “don’t call me Ma’am” Barbara Boxer… and once again, I got only 1.3% of the vote. The international-bankster-run-media, the two big-bucks parties and the powers that be, made sure the elections were rigged and I (and the other three Calfornia ballot-qualified third party candidates) was denied equal access to the political process.
So my friend, Alice and I have been wondering how we can get people to notice me as a candidate in the face of such corrupt political oppression against 3rd parties. We have been brainstorming who we could add to my campaign as my running mate that would attract voters to my campaign and get me noticed as a candidate… We came up with a name or two, but no answer has been forthcoming from them… maybe they don’t want to be embarrassed by running as a third party candidate?
So it finally hit me! I need to get someone that has been on TV in every home of America! I need EXPOSURE by being seen with a recognizable face! Divine inspiration came upon me and I have the perfect person!
My choice is the unnamed, “hottie” on the T-Mobile myTouch 4G Piggyback phone! No one knows her name, but she is some real-sweet eye-candy, right?
In one of her ads, iPhone and the AT&T network are mocked as a haggard pair of piggybacking fellows standing next to HER in her slinky white and pink stripped summer dress.
Whoopie! Could she be my excellent new Vice President running mate or not!?
Instead of iPhone and AT&T, the two Yahoos next to her could be the corrupt GOPs and Dems! LOL!
The LA Times claims she is a Canadian! But so what! Mr. Soetoro (aka BHO) is a Kenyan born foreigner. Soetoro has flashed two bogus American Birth Certifications and both were photoshopped and as phony as a three dollar bill. Even the only two hospitals in Hawaii refuse to claim that he was born in THEIR hospital.
And what about Senator John McCain? He was born in Colon, Panama, across the bay from the Naval base that his father was serving in. And Colon IS NOT PART OF THE PANAMA CANAL ZONE! McCain is a citizen of Panama and has never been naturalized as a citizen of America! So if McCain and Soetoro can illegally run, so can my running mate from Canada!
And additionally, Chester Arthur (Republican) was also not a natural born citizen. He illegally became POTUS in 1881 after the assassination of James Garfield. Chester’s father was not a citizen of America, yet married an American lady. This lady (by law) immediately took on the citizenship of her husband (British)… and then Chester Arthur was born (who was also considered British). Chester Arthur’s father (William Arthur) taught school in Canada for most of his life, and did not become a US naturalized citizen until 1843. However, this did not automatically give Chester Arthur citizenship, because he was 23 when his father became a U.S. citizen. Chester Arthur NEVER became a US Citizen…but became an illegal-alien-president. Our Constitution has never recovered from that rape of our precious document… and neither Congress, nor the Supreme Court, nor the White House has ever complied with the Constitution again since this nightmare of 1881.
So heck with it! My choice for Vice President is CARLY FOULKES. She can be our MYTOUCH candidate. At least, she will be nicer to look at than my 63 year old mug:
If anyone objects…TOUGH! Just go ahead and contact the White House and complain. If they object I will NOT ask Foulkes to run. Until then, start considering VOTING NOONAN & FOULKES for President and Vice President 2012! Else, if any "American" desire to run with me and is better looking than I, please contact me immediately!
Edward C. Noonan
President - 2012
American Independent Party